We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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