it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
