I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
