Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
