so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There's always time for handjobs
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just want to make out with him forever
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
