Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
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Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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