I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
