I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
