no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
