And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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