careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
