I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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