I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
