I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize