Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
where are my eyebrows?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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