On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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