I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
