Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
