When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize