We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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