I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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