Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
