Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize