So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
