if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
