I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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