I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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