I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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