this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
