He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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