You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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