Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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