Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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