Dual....:-)
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
only if we run a train.
done.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
