My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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