i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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