I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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