Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
