there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
