Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
