took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
