Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
