About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
