That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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