i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
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One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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