dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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