Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize