So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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