i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
