i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
