Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
