Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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