i jhust puked up my retainher.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
