I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
